OP, no idea if my experience is relevant to you or not, but the relationships in which the possibility of me cheating (never in a million years) was raised were the ones in which HE was cheating. 20 Times Nature Gave Us Something Unusual to Admire, If You Have a Sweet Tooth, These 13 Products Will Help Pave the Way to Your Heart, 10 Amazing Things for Your Home That Are Extremely Cheap Right Now, 10 Best-Selling Products Thatll Make Your Bathroom Worthy of 5 Stars, How Much or How Little the Cast of Jurassic Park Has Changed 30 Years After the Films Release, 10 Tiny Items From Amazon That Can Make a Huge Difference in Your Home, A Woman Dresses Like Celebrities to Prove Any Size Can Be Stylish, How Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen On-Screen Rivalry Lead to the Best Hollywood Bromance in Real Life, 11 Times Celebrities Undermined Traditional Upbringing Methods, 7 Amazon Deals That Can Make Your Skin Glow Without Hurting Your Wallet, Monster-in-Law / New Line Cinema and co-producers. If this is a regular occurrence, it could be indicative of a larger problem, such as marital strife. A little bit, mostly to servers who thought I might be lonely and often came over to chat while I was having dinner. We specifically took any kind of obey language out of our vows. Actually those are not the only two choices. Its not clear how much of this is general anxiety versus a specific concern about Las Vegas, but for the latter, some combination of yeah, Vegas might have been like that fifty years ago, but this is 2017 and its tame now and you cant believe everything you see on TV, theyre just going for the ratings might help. Ive also gone on holiday with my mum and my grandmother for a week or two at a time. Obviously when I say five hours it would be added time for stopping. Its like he thinks Vegas exists in some parallel universe with different logic and laws of physical, and that upon landing in Vegas all of his wifes usual behavioral norms and all concern for her life beyond Vegas will simply evaporate. husband doesn t want to go on family vacation. But its a good idea to add in. There are broadly different American subcultures because there are just so many people. Does he realize people, like, live in Las Vegas and have perfectly normal lives? I dont know, I think you are underestimating how the Internet has magnified the echo chamber effect. Sure, but then the question would be my boss wants me to go on a business trip but I have a new baby/my spouses parent is seriously ill/my house just flooded and I need to deal with insurance/whatever, how should I ask my boss if I can get out of it. And we have no way of knowing, so a lot of people are going the when this happened to me it was X, so thats whats happening here.. They dont have to go out of town to do it. Some women even LIVE in Las Vegas! Whenever we visit, we have to stay in their house, which is dirty and only has one working bathroom. I accidentally ended up at a naked sex drug party once, quite to my own embarrassment, but that was in Akron, Ohio. Just dont! as a 1000 decibel chorus of YES! I went to Vegas for several scientific conferences back in the day, and I thought it was a weird idea until the first time I actually went. I guarantee if my partner surveyed their friends they would all tell them that they are being ridiculous to even question letting (ha!) Im in business, so of course I know that a lot of conferences and normal things to do there, but its a little disingenuous to claim that a location that intentionally markets itself as Sin City doesnt at least have a rep for vice. Doesnt really matter. I read books. But my wife really worded it in a way to get the Im a crazy jealous husband. Whether anxiety is a contributing factor or not, thats all it is. Exactly. If possible, Id suggest both individual and joint counseling. This. ), but yes, getting reinforcement on the anxiety (in this case from the friends the husband surveyed) can definitely make things worse. Except he took a poll of his mom. Theres no scenario that she cant find a worry for. There are a lot of factors that go into deciding where to hold tradeshows and conferences, and none of them have to do with facilitating people being unfaithful to their spouses. You have a good day and thank you. This is NOT putting a judgement on those activities, but all of them can and do carry a pretty significant risk load (money spent, possible diseases, lost time, etc) and thats why in general, society rates them as vices. What do you think?. Its a very highly policed city. Husband may be dealing with separation anxiety, and instead of communicating that, is using Las Vegas Who knows what they actually said, if he asked at all. If its cultural issues, OP may still benefit from help separating herself emotionally from the baggage her husband is carrying, and learning scripts to counter-act the stuff he has internalized, that is causing friction. His concerns are irrational, the trip is a reasonable expectation from your employer, and so you need to go and let him manage his feelings about it. I stayed once at Palms Place, the long-term stay part of the Palms that is set up like studio apartments with full kitchens. My SO has been to more conferences in Vegas than I think anywhere else because of the ease with which hotel rooms can be acquired. But Im not lazy I just love my wife and after 8 yrs of marriage Im worried shes bored with me. Vegas isnt the problem here. But if all your life experiences back it up, its not until youre faced with a new point of view (i.e., your wife goes on a business trip) that any of these beliefs even come to the surface. Ive now chosen to travel for my job to offset he loneliness. Advising someone that most religious counselors would agree with professional norms doesnt help someone in Bible Belt USA or traditionally Catholic Ireland or in rural Saudi Arabia. Alisons advice suggesting marriage counseling is good. Security at casinos is greater than that at Fort Knox. Agree that you should go to counseling by yourself if he wont go. Answer (1 of 74): I can explain this with a story, which is below, but basically - you can't change someone else. You can get really great meals there. I know many wonderful non-abusive people who would raise a hairy eyeball over this. either. But thats a separate issue. The kidnaps, cheating, etc etc that COULD happen in Vegas (with about as much chance as being struck by lightning) are all just scare tactics to convince YOU to stay home and desire his protection from the big, bad world. My husband used to be pretty bad about my work trips, too. And no matter what, go on the trip. And yeah, if one doesnt leave the primary resort where the conference is, almost zero worry of bad experiences/people. EhIm not calling a mans insecurities abuse. A room like that in any other city would cost 3 or 4 times that. Congratulations, his friends are ALSO sexist and manipulative. Ive visited Las Vegas several times and loved it. We are individual people, and of course we take each other into account, but ultimately neither of us is the others possession or pet. I just love when you have the oh you too? moment with strangers on the internet. I also suggest that he seeks out personal therapy. Because of that, my parents said I can bring a friend. I see wholesome as suitable for minors and conservative folks, so yeah, sex work isnt that. It mostly makes me question his survey methods, which I assume involved leading questions like, would you let your wife go to a naked business orgy in Las Vegas?. I think youre right, but it really needs to be highlighted up top: a lot of people tend to think that couples counseling is for us issues, and this is 100% a him issue. See a g- d- counsellor. (Overeating or eating rich foods, drinking, drugs, gambling, or sex?) I also love Vegas. I did a few Vegas-y things, but mostly I found really interesting things to do while not working. Agree with the high level of security even on the streets. Arguments are by turns rewarding, arousing (in the physical arousal sense), angering, and anxiety-provoking. I never said anything about kiddnaping I had 3 seperate friends get sexually assaulted there. Ive been in enough therapy to know thats my brain lying to me, and my spouse and I work together to come up with coping strategies to help ward off these thoughts, but they are always there in the back of my mind. During the first trip I spent most of my time during the day sight-seeing by myself (or with tour groups) while my wife attended her conference and later meeting her and friends for dinner and evening events. A three day annual business trip to any location is not an unreasonable expectation. Being in Vegas to me would be about eating at fancy restaurants, doing the neon lights tour, etc. Keep in mind that your partner is occasionally on edge, as being polite throughout an entire family trip can feel like a job." AKA: Don't be surprised if your partner gets moody. Both of us have traveled the world for pleasure and business in the 15 years. I strongly suspect it is not actually about Vegas, but perhaps a trip full of family friendly activities there could solve his issue if it is, in fact, about Vegas. Lets not give credibility to LWs spouse by arguing the matter of whether its really dangerous, or whether he has reasons to believe she will have an affair. He was already in counselling and they focused on this issue for a while. One of my best friends took his family (2 very young children) to Vegas, and they had a great time. I think its one of the things that makes our relationship so strong. (As a sidenote: my mom has been able to do with with my dad a few times when her travel schedule gets crazy. Its just boring to us because we arent into flashy lights and gambling. So in addition to all his other faults, you then learned that he had asshole friends. It has beautiful trails just minutes outside the city. husband doesn t want to go on family vacation We talked about it a lot and it turns out that most of his fears were based on baggage from previous relationships (2 of his exes cheated). For example, phone #: 123-333-4567. Ive never been on these more dangerous trips, though I almost had to travel to Congo last year (it ended up falling through). Vegas has a convenient airport, massive conference facilities, and tons of hotels that cater to business travelers. The follow up is what took it from possible anxiety issue on overdrive to controlling husband for me. Our daughter will be three months Old and she always falls asleep in the car. Fortunately, he wouldnt even ask because, (1) jeez, who needs survey results to help you navigate your marriage? Im also a Chicagoan with an irrational former fiance. Food! What level of dealing with him can you actually do during these three days AND be able to focus on your work stuff? I have serious issues with anxiety and I read it the same way.