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We worked out it would be handy karma for him to get hold of a suit but he's a very low temperature spade, the Coalman. *Aaaaarggghhhh*! A coward you are, Withnail, an expert on bulls you are not! And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. This page was last edited on 1 November 2022, at 17:35. Danny: You're looking very beautiful, man. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. It's like a tide. Withnail: You want me to call what's-his-name and ask him about his house? Pin By Lucy MckFunkdrick On Sunny Side | Withnail And I, Mens www.pinterest.com. You're not in the same boat. 1 likes. Half an hour? He doesn't have any friends. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. If he comes into my room again, it's murder, and you'll be held responsible in law! Marwood: Withnail, you bastard, wake up. Marwood: We're early. Marwood: I think you've been punished enough. You got a rush. Withnail & I is in my personal Top 5 movies of all time for re-watchablity and scathing dialogue. Come on lads, let's get home. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Marwood: Marwood: Start shouting. . Having said that, I now intend to leave for London. I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you. You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back. Have another look in that shed. Find your neutral space. It's ridiculous. All right, this is the plan. Withnail: And we want them here, and we want them now! Look at my tongue, it's wearing a yellow sock. Withnail: Ive told you why. Find *anything*. I think we better release you from the lgume, and transfer your talents to the meat. I can't. Raymond Duck. Quotes.net. Marwood: Marwood: Jesus Christ! I called him a ponce. They can handle the caftan but they cannot handle the bell. Listen to me, listen to me! Prostitutes for the bees. [Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor]. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. I brought two of these in case either of you is any good in the kitchen. No fridges, no televisions, no phones! Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. Withnail: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? It's obsessed with its gut. Danny: Because I don't advise it. Reflecting these times. Yeah, I know that, you've got to kill it. you little traitors. Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? Withnail. Hey, show no fear! We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. Monty: Withnail: Withnail: [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch]. [voiceover] [pointing at a table] What do you want? Jesus, look at that. Sinew in nicotine base. Whats more popular than the movie itselfis, its amazing quotes. Monty: Monty: It's ridiculous. Withnail: St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie, ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck, Withnail suddenly runs out of the pub, so does Marwood, Marwood is in the pub toilets, after walking past a hulking Irishman who's called him a ponce, Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid, he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. Withnail: Where is he? Scrubbers! by Anonymous: reply 16: February 3, 2021 10:58 PM: I've gone on holiday by mistake. We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. You little thug! Danny: And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. I'm glad you're the proprietor, I was gonna have to have a word with you anyway. The old bugger's come a long way and I didn't want to put the wind up him. Marwood: I've got a bastard behind the eyes. Oh, my boys, my boys, we're at the end of an age. Marwood: I know how you feel and how difficult it is. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your fucking appendix doesn't mean anything! You will make it low. Withnail: No more than you have. We are not drunks, we are multimillionaires! This is ridiculous. Marwood: [eating chips while taking a bath] Ive got your saveloy. Voila! Be seated. That's what you say. "I'm gonna pull you head off." by Anonymous: . Ah! Withnail: Withnail: Sulking up the hill. Monty: Well, of course you dont, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? [Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel]. How like an angel in apprehension. Marwood: [ruefully] We mean no harm! It's all your fault. I adore you. Monty: Depends entirely on the quality of the wine. *Get-in-the-back-of-the-van*! Monty: Withnail: Would it be in bad form to plagiarise a toast? Yes, you are! Withnail: Trade: Phenodihydrochloride benzorex. All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. I thought they'd all be out the back, drinking cider and discussing butter. Look out that window, if you see anything, anything at all, tell me. Talk. Withnail: Look at my tongue. Oh, don't tell me you're not aware of it, I know what you're up to and so do you. I mean to have you even if it must be burglary. Marwood: (Takes the shotgun) Well let me tell you something, Withnail. This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! A self-sustained nicotine-yellow and fly-blown lung. Discover the priceless words that sparkle and shine here. Forgive me, it was inconsiderate of me not to have telegrammed. That's politics, innit? Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. It's those dreadful beady eyes, they stare you out. He's going into your room. Marwood: Outvie him. Have you been away? We're in this cottage here. Shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour. Man delights not me. Danny: Marwood: Withnail: Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths! And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. We're coming back in here. I'll show the lot of you! Peter Marwood (I): Stop saying that Withnail, of course hes the fucking farmer! Withnail: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Don't threaten me with a dead fish! I need at least an hour for lunch. Quotes.net. Withnail: An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door]. Look at Geoff Woade! Marwood: Dont vent your spleen on me. He doesn't have any friends. Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. It's true, I crept the boards in my youth. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. You won't keep us anywhere. Monty: He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! Well, it's not my fault if the system doesn't work! How dare you. It has felt like listening to a symphony and here comes the crescendo. Withnail: No you won't, you're not leaving me in here alone. It's you he wants. And that's why you mustn't hold back, let it ruin your youth as I nearly did over Eric. So, there's this judge sitting there in a cape like fucking Batman with this really rather far-out looking hat. Listen to this. And how dare you tell him you rejected me?! There can be no true beauty without decay. So here we are gonna talk about some of thebest quotes from the movie. Withnail: These are the sort of windows faces look in at! Bates novel I'd read. What makes you possibly think I've got anything for your pot? Withnail: How dare you call me inhumane! Matter. Any minute now he's going to rush out and get into his tights. Monty: Here hare here! Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. withnail and i 96119 GIFs. This pill's valued at two quid. Finally, the Withnail And I script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Richard E. Grant movie. He's been fed from arsehole to beak. I'm preparing myself to forgive you. If The Crow and Crown ever had life it was dead now. Withnail: (Appalled) How dare you! Street: the embalmer. Would you like a drink? Monty clearly has some difficulty in reading the note. I say, you know what we should do? You hold it down, I'll strangle it. Here it is: Movie Drone: I Heart - Withnail And I moviedroneblog.blogspot.com. Monty: We've gone on holiday by mistake. Monty: He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. No it doesn't. Hare. Jake: Tanks. But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'" Withnail: (He spits out a globule of phlegm) Jesus, look at that. We're in the middle of a f***ing gale. That is an unfortunate political decision. If my father was loaded I'd ask him for some money. We want the finest wines available to humanity. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. I was merely making an observation. And here we are, we three, perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker! Bastard must have died. Little tarts, they love it! What have you done to them? . Jake: It's impossible, I swear it. Withnail: The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it. And the Coalman looks at him and says "You think *you* look normal, your honour?" There's a man over there that doesn't like the perfume, the big one. We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. Required fields are marked *. Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed. Withnail: How should I know where we are? "It's gone. Don't suppose you've engaged, have you? We might wanna do a film in here. Right can anybody explain the here hare here joke from withnail and I? I don't know what's in here. But now he's stopped he's much better in our sex life and in our general life." It'll happen. I feel unusual. It's wearing a yellow sock. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! 'He used to pick on me. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Marwood: Well, I don't know. Withnail: Uncle Monty: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. Plot - Withnail and "I" - the narrator - are two aspiring actors and friends who are looking for a job in London without success. I want something's flesh! How *dare* you! Who is the huge spade in the bath? General: Tea Shop Proprietor: I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! You never discuss your family do you? [ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck] Withnail: 13 million Londoners have to wake up to this. I've gone and fucked my brain! Hair are your aerials. His mechanism's gone, he's had more drugs than you've had hot dinners! The only programme I'm likely to get on is the fucking news. Or do you shut yourself off from new experience? reading, studying, and reflecting this history have led to this moment. Withnail: If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder, they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark, amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables, he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it, stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat. Cake. Withnail: We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this fucking mountainside! Monty: Withnail: You bloody fool, you should never mix your drinks! General: There is a certain. Bit early in the morning for festivities, isn't it? Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! How dare you! [leaning out the car window] His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. Danny: This is ridiculous. Marwood: That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Belongs to the fellow downstairs. I'll be sprouting bloody feelers soon. Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. He can eat his ****ing radish. What on Earth are those? Ive absolutely no interest in yours. I've no idea. Here comes another fucker! Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E04 High Diving Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E11 Tortoise Beats Hare, [SINGING] Hare Krishna, Hare Lama Hare Krishna, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E08 Water, Water Every Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E37 Frigid Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E13 Slick Hare. But he's a very low-temperature spade, the Coalman. Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood situation. Honestly. What's going on? Waitress: Director: Bruce Robinson Stars: Richard E. Grant, Paul McGann, Richard Griffiths Rating: Unrated Runtime: 107 minutes Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Got busted coming back through Heathrow. [voiceover] The police, Miss Blennerhassett. I think you've been punished enough. Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. Marwood: How can it be so cold in here? Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. [Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff] [reading the note] Withnail: When I come in, I seen one the size of a fucking dog. Sherry? Withnail: It will die, it will die! Burnt! 2 quotes have been tagged as withnail-i: Bruce Robinson: 'We've gone on holiday by mistake' and Bruce Robinson: 'Here. The purveyor of rare herbs and prescribed chemicals is back. Why can't I get on television? The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. This is a British cult classic. Web. I say, you know what we should do? He's lent us his cottage. Oh, Baudelaire. Withnail: Withnail: It's you he wants. General: The carrot has mystery. Don't look, don't look! [extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky]. Look at my tongue. - Washington Irving. Danny: Withnail: Oh, Christ almighty. Who fucks arses? And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. How can we make it die? [as Marwood walks past him] [narrating over scene] Suits me. Withnail: Scrubbers! The fucking kettle's on fire! I've been to drama school. Oh God, it's a nightmare, I tell you, it's a nightmare. Danny: Balls! 10 quotes from Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay: 'We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell.' . Do you realise this gaff's overrun with rodents? Danny: It has voodoo qualities. The thermostats. I think we've been in here too long. Marwood stands there, petrified, the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting, he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases. Danny: Best kill it quick before it tries to make friends with us. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe . You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it! [voiceover] Get out of it for a while. He told me that first day you came to Chelsea. [narrating over scene] Just think of it with bacon across its back. Clip from Withnail & I Rest in happy peace Richard Griffiths ! Withnail: The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news! Withnail: [holding him back] Like "Withnail: This is ridiculous. I want something's flesh! Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! Add spice to it. Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. Withnail: Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. Oh, look at this little bastard. Here."" (Richard Griffiths) "Laisse-moi, respirer . ""Here. I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. There can be no true beauty without decay. Marwood: I can never touch meat until it's cooked. You're not leaving me in here alone. Withnail: In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. Withnail And I - Wikipedia en.m.wikipedia.org. https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Withnail_and_I&oldid=3185462. We've got to get some booze. Street: The Embalmer! Here grows the plant Assidos, which, when worn by any one, protects him from the evil spirit, forcing it to state its business and name; consequently the foul spirits keep out of the way there. Isaac Parkin: I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Imagine the size of his balls. Scrubbers! I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Withnail: All right, this is the plan. Well neither have I. No! Marwood: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Withnail: Uncle Monty: Oh! Who f***s arses? We want to get in there, don't we? 4 Mar. Withnail: Half an hour? I don't want to hear it. Withnail: 2023. Two out-of-work actors -- the anxious, luckless Marwood and his acerbic, alcoholic friend, Withnail -- spend their days drifting between their squalid flat, the unemployment office and the pub. Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder]. It features Paul Heller as producer, Lord David Dundas, and Rick Wentworth in charge of musical score, and Peter Hannan as head of cinematography. Marwood: You know what we should do? Of course he's the fucking farmer! Withnail: Weve gone on holiday by mistake. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Withnail: Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you. The entire sink's gone rotten. Clearly a myth. [getting up at the same time] quotes military heroes famous quotesgram. He winces as he stretches his leg]. withnail. My heart's beating like a fucked clock! [offering Monty a glass] Oh dear, no, no, no, I'd be sucked into his trap. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. Danny: Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink that! Withnail: No you can't, I can't get my boots on when they're hot. You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. You lead him astray. You're simply blackmailing your emotions to avoid the realities of your relationship with him. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. ", Oh! Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake. I must be ill. Monty: How infinite in faculties! Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. [spits onto the ground] How can I possibly know what we should do? He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. "Withnail and I Quotes." Marwood: Withnail: Black puddings are no good to us. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. I hope you guys like our collection. I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary! The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! : Withnail and I. I find the quote read by Monty from the note written by the poacher very usable: "Here, Hare, here." Surely Herr Hare Here. What's it got to do with you? Withnail: We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. [holding up a pill] Marwood: But no man's put me down yet. Withnail: It's too hot so he drops it]. Listen, I don't know what my f acquaintance did to upset you but it's nothing to do with me. Withnail: The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. Monty: [in a telephone box, speaking to an operator] I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. We do it wrong, being so majestical. The carrot has mystery. Danny: [holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube]. For reasons I can't really discuss with you. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Cooking's one of the natural instincts. Marwood: We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. It's like a bloody rugby ball now, it will die, it will die! [picking up an apron] All right, get hold of it. I'm a friend of Montague Withnail's. You can never, never disguise it. The paragon of animals! [gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back] Change down, man, find your neutral space. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts . Afrika Korps. Quotes About Cool Kid (57 Quotes) www.quotemaster.org. Danny: 'S alright, 's alright, s'alright We're going, our car has arrived! Withnail: [Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note], Monty: We're not from London! [teary-eyed] Marwood: (Voice-over) Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this. Hare. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. I will say one thing for Monty, he keeps a sensational cellar. Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Withnail: Well neither have I. Stop saying that! They can handle the kaftan, they can't handle the bell. 'He used to get in bad tempers and act up,' said his wife. Here hare here!' There is, youll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm, young carrot.. There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. You shouldn't treat each other so badly. Eat some cake. Withnail: What are you talking about, Danny? Just you wait! Making enemies of our own futures. Withnail: Nor women neither. Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up. Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. Making an enemy of our own future. Gi' me one in t' knee. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. [after a phone call with his agent] All right here? "I'm going to pull your head off." Go with it. Youre not in the same boat. We forgot to bring our Wellingtons. Do you grow? What goods the countryside? How like a god! It's society's crime, not ours. Look at Geoff Woade. Withnail: [Withnail suddenly runs out of the pub, so does Marwood], [Marwood is in the pub toilets, after walking past a hulking Irishman who's called him a ponce]. It's like Greenland in here. Vegetables again. Hey, give us a wheeze on that fag. Isaac Parkin: His sister give him the idea. You've got soup. Marwood: If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. Marwood: Withnail unfolds the note and hands it to Monty. It is called a Camberwell Carrot. Eggs and things. He's a madman. If I hear more words out of you, I'll put one of these here black pods on you. Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake. He gags and gasps]. Why can't I have an audition? Marwood: (Voice-over) Danny's here. Aren't you getting absurdly high? Mrs. Parkin: The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Withnail: (Ranting on a mountain) Bastards! What have you done to them? The man is rich and homosexual and he tries to persuade them, but he gives up because he's convinced there's something between them. Withnail is walking him to the station in the heavy rain]. "I'm gonna pull your head off because I don't like your head.". [Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon] Withnail: There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this f***ing mountainside!